Chapter 3 Pg 22

Discussion (11) ¬

  1. Silverwolf

    X: “Oh yeah, we’re supposed to be fast, but we don’t sparkle!”
    Ben: *holds up a can of gasoline and a road flare* “We can fix that.”

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    neutral9999 Reply:

    hehehehe marshmollows anyone?

    [Reply]

  2. dalewarrior

    im getting shades of merged scenes here

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  3. Eidolon

    “Sometimes I miss being a student, I had more free time.”
    Funny how that works, isn’t it? I find I miss college, but I don’t miss the school portion of it.

    [Reply]

  4. Jae

    “On awakening the bond is still unstable.”

    I had to re-read that sentence about three times because it just didn’t seem to flow right. I think it needs a comma, or to be rephrased somehow. I would probably write it like this:

    “Upon awakening, the bond is still unstable.”

    But maybe I’m the only one who had an issue with this? I did just wake up and my brain might not be working properly.

    [Reply]

    ShadowsMyst Reply:

    Well for all the good spell check does me, its not grammar checking. I’ve been known to commit grammar butchery at work too. Do you think ” Upon awakening the bond is still unstable.” Works better? No emphasis?

    [Reply]

    Jae Reply:

    I think it would still need the comma, otherwise there would be no pause in the sentence. It would be read as “Upon-awakening-the-bond-is-still-unstable.” Whereas, you want “Upon awakening” and “The bond is still unstable” to be two separate thoughts that are connected in a single sentence. This is done through speech with a pause and reflected through text via the comma… Or at least that how I was taught.

    [Reply]

    Gillsing Reply:

    English isn’t my first language, but I didn’t notice any problems with that sentence. I don’t even see how “upon awakening” could stand on its own, and as far as I know, stuff on either side of such a comma is supposed to be a complete sentence.

    And while I agree that it could make sense to make a short pause after saying “awakening”, that seems entirely optional. And therefore I don’t think that a comma is warranted. And I certainly don’t think that the two thoughts are particularly separate. The “awakening” part is ‘attached’ to the “unstable” part, because it would make no sense without it.

    [Reply]

    Jae Reply:

    Er, not separate thoughts exactly- that wasn’t the right word. More like, separate parts of the thought. Without the comma, it doesn’t have the flow, in my opinion. I read the sentence without a pause and it seems unnatural, but this is just my opinion.

    Mysti Reply:

    You know what we need here? An English Teacher

    [Reply]

  5. Silverwolf

    Alice: “So if vampires are supposed to be fast, then we quickly throw you at the beast, and while you are rapidly being torn to shreds, we can swiftly subdue it! Everybody wins!
    Karma: “What do you mean ‘everybody wins?!’ We’ll still be dead!”
    Alice: “Exactly! Everybody wins! Ben, do you have the trebuchet set up yet?”

    [Reply]

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